Where am I??
Thursday, April 10, 2008
i've found God's Will!
http://www.discipleshiplibrary.com/WillofGod.htmapparently its found in a nice line drawing of a hand with some words and numbers on it!
ok... so im taking the mickey out of it...
but really.. i heard a friend say the other day... ' God's will--- its about making a godly decision and moving forward in faith'
is it?
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
good grief!
i have found a reason--- i'm sure it is one of many... but i have come to the conclusion, which may not be so obvious to most... of why i have been going through 'the motions' for so long...
i have been grieving.
the loss of my old home.
the loss of friendships, family, various connections-- esp. those who have moved away
the loss of my job (s) including shock, bereavement etc
the shock and news of traumatic occurances... whilst on my trip in africa
the loss & death of extended family members and others' friend's losses.
i think that although these are in some form separate occurances... and may not be directly linked to me... this has all happened to me in the space of a year.
all this is interwovenly connected to the loss of my dad 16+ years ago. when he died suddenly from a car accident. never to be seen alive again. I was only just 11.
i have realised that when i have lost something significant to me--- say, my friends or family moving away-- or even hear of some tragic loss... i have wondered why i have felt such a painful deep deep loss, even though they are still alive. I believe it is because that i have lost someone like my Dad- who was and is such a significant person in my life, that i feel a deeper sense of pain that I had not realised before... one that may take me much longer to 'get over' or 'move on' from others' experiences.
the tragedy of loss has always dumbfounded me. i realise now, that my rollercoaster of emotions has been set off by present losses and thus is not mutually exclusive to that of my first major loss in my life during childhood. the death of my dad.
i also believe that due to my cultural background and my age at the time. i never really grieved his death 'properly'.
I think i am going through this process now. I hadnt realised what it was before, but now i do. its helping me to make some sense of it.
the biggest thing is that... what has seemed like 'depression'... or become it, is in fact, the deep sense of grieving that i have been going through. melancholic, life looks really blue all the time sorta thing.
hence why i have a habit of telling those close to me how much i appreciate them, or how i miss them or put my energy put into keeping in contact... For me, i have always thought... ' i may never see them again'... i guess although that sounds bleak, or fearing the worst... the good thing about that is... i try to make the effort to make the most of every opportunity... when i can at least- to stay connected.
i think thats why i am the way that i am... open to new ideas, trying new things... searching... helping... meeting new people... aside from the fact that its in my personality... i believe that deep down... we are all loved and valued by God and we have so much to offer the world-- even when we have stuffed up majorly or thought that somehow 'we' were in control of our lives. we only need to know the pain of life to know that 'sin' is what tarnishes our journey-- but that which doesnt break us or destroy us, will only make us stronger.
i call this healing.
Thanks to my extended Community family- in particular Jane for helping me realise that this is perhaps the journey that i am currently on. I know that you guys have experienced the deep loss of David of late... so i guess this journey is close to your heart too. I think I am most thankful for the 'space' given for me to grieve. For 'space' to grieve has not been a common theme... in my life nor in my immediate family and in particular, my dear mum before.
oh, and if it wasnt obvious... (it hasnt been my experience to acknowledge this in my past)... healing takes an infinate amount of time. sometimes its an hour at a time. a day at a time. a week at a time. sometimes its a month at a time... and after a year... if you might feel even slightly thankful that you made it through. that helps. (thats what im going on!)
for me... in all honesty... even though its been 16 years... the tears are real today. i know now that when i have cried... so much of it, although i may be crying for other reasons... deep down, its because of Dad. I hope that now i think i am acknowledging this... when i do grieve in the future... its not cos of Dad, but rather being in the moment of loss and acknowledgement of this other event... maybe that might help.
i am different as a result of this.
Monday, April 07, 2008
waiting to exhale...cheap dosas and expensive frappes-
its monday and i cant complain too much... although i am going to be SOOO happy this afternoon once i say a sad farewell goodbye to the apartment i used to live in... final keys to be dropped off.
its sold now. and being settled on thursday. to be honest. im glad there is a finality to it. its dragged on for a bit too long... where one door closes... another one opens!!?! so thats why i'm happy... more because of the finality of it... and relief and stress of cleaning out the house while sally is now living in perth and her former mortgage will be gone. (exhale).
its sad to say goodbye... but as with all good things... they must come to an end.
(actually, do people believe that? good things coming to an end?)
i guess in reality its true. in theory it sounds a lot more idealistic... like people say... ' you can never have too much of a good thing?' ....
ech. i dont think this is even making any sense.
--------
oh. and the reason for my post. i went along for dosas with david and some of the crew on saturday nite. FUN!
then Jem and i laughed our way through our expensive $6 hot chocolates and $8 fancy fruit frappes at max brenner. gee wizz, next time i go there i think i'll have to take out a mortgage!!!
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gotta go!
its sold now. and being settled on thursday. to be honest. im glad there is a finality to it. its dragged on for a bit too long... where one door closes... another one opens!!?! so thats why i'm happy... more because of the finality of it... and relief and stress of cleaning out the house while sally is now living in perth and her former mortgage will be gone. (exhale).
its sad to say goodbye... but as with all good things... they must come to an end.
(actually, do people believe that? good things coming to an end?)
i guess in reality its true. in theory it sounds a lot more idealistic... like people say... ' you can never have too much of a good thing?' ....
ech. i dont think this is even making any sense.
--------
oh. and the reason for my post. i went along for dosas with david and some of the crew on saturday nite. FUN!
then Jem and i laughed our way through our expensive $6 hot chocolates and $8 fancy fruit frappes at max brenner. gee wizz, next time i go there i think i'll have to take out a mortgage!!!
--------
gotta go!
Saturday, April 05, 2008
jesus loves porn stars.
now, i wasnt sure whether to put a ? behind the heading. but after a little bit of thought... its more of a statement.
click on the pic above to head to the website. I was curious to check it out after Tom mentioned it on his blog
being a sucker for merchandise... i found the above pic.
its controversial. thats why i like it.
...
oh, and i loved 'wine and word' on tonight at the frenchs'. fun.
who can say no to a combination of good company... wine, cheese, chips, olive snacks and talking about the complexities or challenges of words from the bible? sounds like a geeky christian gathering to me... but i tell you what. (a) it wasnt geeky and (b) its not like kumbayah was sung and (c) i loved every minute of it.
Monday, March 10, 2008
im excited to get out of bed!
its been a while.
but i got up early for a change this morning.
its a miracle.
not sure if it was the de-tox tea. feeling better this morning, or just knowing that listening to sermons on a sunday night through itunes has re-invigorated my living space.
i havent felt this good & light in a long while.
its really an answer to prayer. hallelujah.
but i got up early for a change this morning.
its a miracle.
not sure if it was the de-tox tea. feeling better this morning, or just knowing that listening to sermons on a sunday night through itunes has re-invigorated my living space.
i havent felt this good & light in a long while.
its really an answer to prayer. hallelujah.
interesting...
Job Values - What’s Important To You
Understanding what you want out of life can help you to make trade-offs when it comes to your job. By now, you probably have a long list of things you’re looking for in a job—short commute, flexible hours, great people to work with, just to name a few. How you prioritize this list can tell you a lot about what you value in a career and in life.
People who are internally motivated by their career care most about the intangible benefits it brings. For example, they enjoy the sense of achievement they get from a job well done. These values are called, Intrinsic Values. Whereas Extrinsic values are values such as a high salary, recognition or a prestigious title.
Whether you are motivated by intrinsic values, extrinsic values, or a combination of both, it’s how well your job matches up against your values that helps to determine how satisfied you are.Intrinsic Values
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Extrinsic Values
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everything is spiritual
“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.”
this is a link to rob bell's new dvd. he also creates the nooma series. if youre interested in christian teaching but are too afraid of all the loud preaching or stereotypes, i recommend watching some of rob's stuff. i like where he is coming from. not too full-on but always insightful and real.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
donkervoorting around
ok, so i watched some funny show called 'mega... (something, oh, i forget the name) on 7 HD tonite. my brother in law and sis has this massive flatscreen tv and well... it was enough to peake my interest when the show was doing a feature on 'the netherlands'. yes, its where my other sister michelle has moved to and aside from fascinating descriptions on the worlds largest factory for flowers (the size of monaco apparently)... the show introduced me to a somewhat catchy name of 'my new favourite car'... the donkervoort
aside from the fact that its freakin hilarious name... i couldnt help but laugh at the descriptions on the show. but i guess you had to be there. stupid design feature... while totally disregarding the fact that the netherlands is infamous for its rain... and yet, all the 50 handmade vehicles created each year in their workshop... (except 1 model)... are CONVERTIBLES? but... it has its pluses... the fact that the vehicle is 270horsepower and are now fitted with an audi engine and based off a lotus 7 (noice, noice)... yet, this DUMKEVORT is more dud than dude.
ok. the dutch might like the colour orange (which to me is pretty cool) -- so i'll let them off this one. and i'll remember to pick up a set of clogs for y'all when i head to holland to buy my eyes out in tulips, clogs, my rain jacket and my new donkervoort. (pronounced donk- kere- vort)
love it. or shall i say in dutch.... liefde het.
goede nacht xo
Thursday, March 06, 2008
swimming along...
so i had my first official shift at the pool all on my own this arvo. i was teaching ' piranhas' and ' snappers'. no, this isnt an episode of 'rex hunts fishing world' (now i hope people dont google rex hunt and my blog comes up, but the more times i type it in, the likelihood just mite rise-ok, back to the point).
im being reacquainted with the 'levels' of swimming ability at the WLC> (willoughby LC) and again for the sake of not incriminating myself i wont type it out.
ok. so... i'm just a paranoid adwords internet swimming instructor FREAK.
but what i love about working part time (aside from the fact you get a heck of a lot of free time in between shifts to do other stuff, instead of just evenings and 2 days on the weekend) is that...
I LOVE TEACHING SNOTTY KIDS HOW TO SWIM!
Ok, so its day 1 and i'll probably hate it by friday afternoon when the next kid pisses me off with not listening and insisting on trying to 'dive' when really, all they're achieving is bellyflopping all over the place.
im kinda worried that i'll enjoy this too much and wont want to get a 'real job'. being back at the WLC is strange because it was my uni job, but in reality, its people's 'real job' everyday and some of the people i saw today were there when i first worked in 2001. boy times flies.
its kinda almost hard even to articulate to the few that have asked me what i've been doing since. i said 'travelling'. i guess i was, although i have worked in sydney for the majority of the past 6-7 years!? i guess travelling is an easy answer. it kinda covers all spectrums, being plain enough for people to understand and vague enough to not have to go into any detail.
better than explaining... well...' ive gone from event management to gondola/crowd control activator, designer of costumes and sets, full time student to full time crazy IT sales person and ad sales in media'. now i'm back the pool.
i could be teaching the next thorpedo. or... i could be caught drinking his heinous 'energy drink'-- think it was extracted from 'pure pool water with added food colouring' to boot (it was a sponsored product one year for one of our running events, and i dare say, they were gross, but being *free takes out the grossness)
so randomness aside. im feeling significantly more connected with the world with swimming teaching (i think i really enjoy the fact that im left to my own space to teach the kids without being harassed-- AUTONOMY. oh i like that)
that and we had a great connect group tonite at the chappos. we're looking at where we want to head with our walk with God this year. thats always an exciting, encouraging space to be in. surrendering to the holy spirit was a big one for most in the group. i think we're going to learn about that. now... thats going into pente territory! not for the faint hearted anglicans :P (as i raise my hands and shout out Hallelujah!) although i have heard about these charo/anglican churches out there which im yet to experience.
for someone who has gone the full spectrum from anglican, baptists, vineyard, presby, catholic, church of christ... its always a treat to learn more about God and see where others are coming from too :)
im being reacquainted with the 'levels' of swimming ability at the WLC> (willoughby LC) and again for the sake of not incriminating myself i wont type it out.
ok. so... i'm just a paranoid adwords internet swimming instructor FREAK.
but what i love about working part time (aside from the fact you get a heck of a lot of free time in between shifts to do other stuff, instead of just evenings and 2 days on the weekend) is that...
I LOVE TEACHING SNOTTY KIDS HOW TO SWIM!
Ok, so its day 1 and i'll probably hate it by friday afternoon when the next kid pisses me off with not listening and insisting on trying to 'dive' when really, all they're achieving is bellyflopping all over the place.
im kinda worried that i'll enjoy this too much and wont want to get a 'real job'. being back at the WLC is strange because it was my uni job, but in reality, its people's 'real job' everyday and some of the people i saw today were there when i first worked in 2001. boy times flies.
its kinda almost hard even to articulate to the few that have asked me what i've been doing since. i said 'travelling'. i guess i was, although i have worked in sydney for the majority of the past 6-7 years!? i guess travelling is an easy answer. it kinda covers all spectrums, being plain enough for people to understand and vague enough to not have to go into any detail.
better than explaining... well...' ive gone from event management to gondola/crowd control activator, designer of costumes and sets, full time student to full time crazy IT sales person and ad sales in media'. now i'm back the pool.
i could be teaching the next thorpedo. or... i could be caught drinking his heinous 'energy drink'-- think it was extracted from 'pure pool water with added food colouring' to boot (it was a sponsored product one year for one of our running events, and i dare say, they were gross, but being *free takes out the grossness)
so randomness aside. im feeling significantly more connected with the world with swimming teaching (i think i really enjoy the fact that im left to my own space to teach the kids without being harassed-- AUTONOMY. oh i like that)
that and we had a great connect group tonite at the chappos. we're looking at where we want to head with our walk with God this year. thats always an exciting, encouraging space to be in. surrendering to the holy spirit was a big one for most in the group. i think we're going to learn about that. now... thats going into pente territory! not for the faint hearted anglicans :P (as i raise my hands and shout out Hallelujah!) although i have heard about these charo/anglican churches out there which im yet to experience.
for someone who has gone the full spectrum from anglican, baptists, vineyard, presby, catholic, church of christ... its always a treat to learn more about God and see where others are coming from too :)
Saturday, March 01, 2008
loving corinne bailey rae. ROZELLE MARKETS ROCKED!
her music is really chilled out.
another new addition to my 'highly liked' music hitlist is 'feist'. i havent got their album but shes the girl on the new ipod mini ad.
oh. and i made about $350 bucks selling my 2nd hand stuff. Now. its true. one mans trash is anothers treasure!!! :)
Gab, Kath and I had fun--- we all made money, from breaking event + $10 for kath and Gaby made about $20. But they didnt have nearly as much crap as i had... (cough)... i mean... 'treasure' :)
if my sis mich is reading this: your tweetie bag sold for $4. no one bought the teapot, although it was admired.
i managed to flog a set of pens for $2. oh, and my 'bird bag'... a really cool bag that i used to take 'out' sold for $4. boy. that was a bargain. i loved that bag. but alas, not e.thing can be kept, nor be used. ;)
I dont even remember what else i sold for it to get to $300+, but you know what?! Thats the beauty of it... letting go, purging... releasing. oh the feeling is just wonderful.
oh, just remembered, someone bought Champ's* Cd. He should be happy.
*champs was our d&t teacher at highschool. in the early 90's he made a cd album which we all eagerly bought in our early teens (as it was so cool to have a christian teacher with an album when you're 13). if you care to know one of his earliest hits, id be happy to send it to you. yes. i downloaded it onto the itunes before i sold it... hehehehhe. 'hopes and dreams' was the album name.
another new addition to my 'highly liked' music hitlist is 'feist'. i havent got their album but shes the girl on the new ipod mini ad.
oh. and i made about $350 bucks selling my 2nd hand stuff. Now. its true. one mans trash is anothers treasure!!! :)
Gab, Kath and I had fun--- we all made money, from breaking event + $10 for kath and Gaby made about $20. But they didnt have nearly as much crap as i had... (cough)... i mean... 'treasure' :)
if my sis mich is reading this: your tweetie bag sold for $4. no one bought the teapot, although it was admired.
i managed to flog a set of pens for $2. oh, and my 'bird bag'... a really cool bag that i used to take 'out' sold for $4. boy. that was a bargain. i loved that bag. but alas, not e.thing can be kept, nor be used. ;)
I dont even remember what else i sold for it to get to $300+, but you know what?! Thats the beauty of it... letting go, purging... releasing. oh the feeling is just wonderful.
oh, just remembered, someone bought Champ's* Cd. He should be happy.
*champs was our d&t teacher at highschool. in the early 90's he made a cd album which we all eagerly bought in our early teens (as it was so cool to have a christian teacher with an album when you're 13). if you care to know one of his earliest hits, id be happy to send it to you. yes. i downloaded it onto the itunes before i sold it... hehehehhe. 'hopes and dreams' was the album name.
Friday, February 29, 2008
decisions decisions.
how does one go about making (potentially) life changing decisions?
do we make decisions without even thinking... that could be potentially life changing? (i.e. taking a different route home on the bus, walking a different way... getting mugged, getting hit by a car... gee this is just a bit of negative vibing!)
ok. so the MV in her attempts at recovering from a tumultuous 2007... is embarking on being a little more careful with her decision making.
oftentimes i have jumped into things without much forethought. i often think 'YES' this is what i want... and before i get a chance to even say.... woah woah woah... im already in the thick of something... i am referring to work/ job committments for one. relationships is a whole nother kettle of fish.
a lot of this has to be about saying 'no' which means 'yes' to something else... and vice versa.
i think the thing that has dawned on me most these days is that well...
its true that you reap what you sow. what you put in is what you get out.
ok. so i'm just rambling.
priority setting. im going to take this offline and go do that now.
lets see if this helps with these offers of work.
swimming teaching. temping in northsydney. looking for full-time work in the Not-for-Profit sector. I really really really would love to work for a NFP project. Preferably with NGO development...
lets seeeeeee....
do we make decisions without even thinking... that could be potentially life changing? (i.e. taking a different route home on the bus, walking a different way... getting mugged, getting hit by a car... gee this is just a bit of negative vibing!)
ok. so the MV in her attempts at recovering from a tumultuous 2007... is embarking on being a little more careful with her decision making.
oftentimes i have jumped into things without much forethought. i often think 'YES' this is what i want... and before i get a chance to even say.... woah woah woah... im already in the thick of something... i am referring to work/ job committments for one. relationships is a whole nother kettle of fish.
a lot of this has to be about saying 'no' which means 'yes' to something else... and vice versa.
i think the thing that has dawned on me most these days is that well...
its true that you reap what you sow. what you put in is what you get out.
ok. so i'm just rambling.
priority setting. im going to take this offline and go do that now.
lets see if this helps with these offers of work.
swimming teaching. temping in northsydney. looking for full-time work in the Not-for-Profit sector. I really really really would love to work for a NFP project. Preferably with NGO development...
lets seeeeeee....
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
good curry community. 5 minutes of no rude jokes
just a BIG THANKYEW to Mil, Ryan & Tom for having me round for some great CURRY last nite :)
so much is happening with the commie house dream--- going to become something else soon---
i guess with all things. they have their seasons. i will miss you guys in that house together. it just wont be the same. but alas... its not like you guys are dying or anything! I will see you all soon :D
Lets keep this community thing/ dream alive--- i'm not quite sure how-- but as with all things... comes action with love.
yes. thats nice.
you guys rock my world. really you do.
so much is happening with the commie house dream--- going to become something else soon---
i guess with all things. they have their seasons. i will miss you guys in that house together. it just wont be the same. but alas... its not like you guys are dying or anything! I will see you all soon :D
Lets keep this community thing/ dream alive--- i'm not quite sure how-- but as with all things... comes action with love.
yes. thats nice.
you guys rock my world. really you do.
this is cheesy. but i like the idea of having God in the neighbourhood
He Loves to Be with the Ones He Loves
by Max LucadoHoliday travel. It isn’t easy. Then why do we do it? Why cram the trunks and endure the airports? You know the answer. We love to be with the ones we love.
The four-year-old running up the sidewalk into the arms of Grandpa.
The cup of coffee with Mom before the rest of the house awakes.
That moment when, for a moment, everyone is quiet as we hold hands around the table and thank God for family and friends and pumpkin pie.
We love to be with the ones we love.
May I remind you? So does God. He loves to be with the ones he loves. How else do you explain what he did? Between him and us there was a distance—a great span. And he couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t stand it. So he did something about it.
Before coming to the earth, “Christ himself was like God in every-thing.… But he gave up his place with God and made himself nothing. He was born to be a man and became like a servant” (Phil. 2:6–7 NCV).
Why? Why did Jesus travel so far?
I was asking myself that question when I spotted the squirrels outside my window. A family of black-tailed squirrels has made its home amid the roots of the tree north of my office. We’ve been neighbors for three years now. They watch me peck the keyboard. I watch them store their nuts and climb the trunk. We’re mutually amused. I could watch them all day. Sometimes I do.
But I’ve never considered becoming one of them. The squirrel world holds no appeal to me. Who wants to sleep next to a hairy rodent with beady eyes? (No comments from you wives who feel you already do.) Give up the Rocky Mountains, bass fishing, weddings, and laughter for a hole in the ground and a diet of dirty nuts? Count me out.
But count Jesus in. What a world he left. Our classiest mansion would be a tree trunk to him. Earth’s finest cuisine would be walnuts on heaven’s table. And the idea of becoming a squirrel with claws and tiny teeth and a furry tail? It’s nothing compared to God becoming a one-celled embryo and entering the womb of Mary.
But he did. The God of the universe kicked against the wall of a womb, was born into the poverty of a peasant, and spent his first night in the feed trough of a cow. “The Word became flesh and lived among us” (John 1:14 NRSV). The God of the universe left the glory of heaven and moved into the neighborhood. Our neighborhood! Who could have imagined he would do such a thing.
Why? He loves to be with the ones he loves.
From Next Door Savior Available in Hardback or Paperback
Copyright (W Publishing Group, 2003) Max Lucado
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
family goodbyes. birthdays. welcome home.
i have such a large immediate family. it is difficult to keep track of everyone... let alone myself!
(for those that dont know, i am the youngest of 5 kids, 3 older sisters and my brother is the oldest)
its my sister Kathy's b'day today. I would bake her a cake, but she lives now in Vancouver, Canada... I will call her to wish her a good day methinks.
Michelle & Percy left last nite to return to the land of clogs, windmills and tulips. Holland! I miss them already.
Good news though, my brother Ivan has returned from being in HongKong for a few weeks today.
My bro and i have a HUGE age gap (12 years), but we have always been good friends. We hang out more these days. I hope we can continue this good habit :)
and... my Mum has been home for a week or so. She was away for most of 2007. I missed her too.
My sis Sharon and her husband Matt and my cute nephew Nathan are still in town. I am glad about that. Lots. I enjoy their company.
my family are now one big international fandangle of continents.
i am grieving the loss of a 'base' in Hong Kong (where i was born). but i have friends at Crossroads. So that is good. that makes me feel better :)
in the meantime, its tempting to pack and leave myself--- just to put it out there, im going to probably go to either UK or Northern America in the next few years. Depending on my situation here in Oz. Im going to do this all before i'm 30. Whether it be to study, or to live/work/ travel. That is definately on the cards.
rozelle markets this saturday 1st March
Ok peeps.
ITS FINALLY HAPPENING!
I am going to try my hand at having my own market stall.
Its going to be 2nd hand clothing/ brick/brack i have from this whole purging of stuff...
THIS SATURDAY 1st MARCH at ROZELLE MARKETS (crn of Darling St & Victoria Rd) Rozelle (on the way to Balmain) at the school there.
Will be there all day from 8am til 4pm.
feel free to come along and experience the joy of markets.
if this goes well, i may do a repeat (this is a good motivator to sell stuff and save some money and stuff)
and if i get organised again too-- i may just get some time to sell some stuff i make (eventually) to sell as well... including jewellery etc.
at this point, i will be just selling 2nd hand stuff. oh. im looking fwd to this. :)
(ive been wanting to do it for ages)!
come along!
ITS FINALLY HAPPENING!
I am going to try my hand at having my own market stall.
Its going to be 2nd hand clothing/ brick/brack i have from this whole purging of stuff...
THIS SATURDAY 1st MARCH at ROZELLE MARKETS (crn of Darling St & Victoria Rd) Rozelle (on the way to Balmain) at the school there.
Will be there all day from 8am til 4pm.
feel free to come along and experience the joy of markets.
if this goes well, i may do a repeat (this is a good motivator to sell stuff and save some money and stuff)
and if i get organised again too-- i may just get some time to sell some stuff i make (eventually) to sell as well... including jewellery etc.
at this point, i will be just selling 2nd hand stuff. oh. im looking fwd to this. :)
(ive been wanting to do it for ages)!
come along!
going digital
one thing i'm doing in preparation of flogging many of my posessions at rozelle markets this saturday (hopefully)- i gotta secure a spot first...
is the whole getting my cd collection on the itunes and subsequently selling the original disc.
im on this decluttering rampage. i love it.
its kinda like a safer version of bullimia for hoarders. (ok, that was a terrible analogy) but i think you know what i mean.
they reckon if you can visualise what youd like to be living like... how the space makes you feel, what it would look like... it healps you let go of the crap. its getting easier.
there are some tough calls on some seriously daggy but trusty jumpers. but you know... there are plenty of others that would appreciate it (or not)... perhaps i shouldnt subject vinnies to my bad taste of wardrobe faux pas.
is the whole getting my cd collection on the itunes and subsequently selling the original disc.
im on this decluttering rampage. i love it.
its kinda like a safer version of bullimia for hoarders. (ok, that was a terrible analogy) but i think you know what i mean.
they reckon if you can visualise what youd like to be living like... how the space makes you feel, what it would look like... it healps you let go of the crap. its getting easier.
there are some tough calls on some seriously daggy but trusty jumpers. but you know... there are plenty of others that would appreciate it (or not)... perhaps i shouldnt subject vinnies to my bad taste of wardrobe faux pas.
Monday, February 25, 2008
handmade things.
i love hand made things. in fact. i make some stuff myself... when i make the time...
jewellery.
clothes
random stuff
cards
i knit/crochet on occasion
i can even sew!?
paint
wow. when i list out the tthings that i can make. it makes me feel happy that i can make a concept into a reality.
but aside from that, i stumbled across this website... etsy.com
the link takes you to an article from a girl that questions the essence of consumerism and well.. in a biased way... talks about buying stufff of thier own website. its pretty cool though.
i love handmade things. arts and crafts. YAY!
keep tahoe blue.
hey hey hey. so i'm on a decluttering extravaganza. without going too far, i'll let you know that there is a cleaning sweep happening right this minute (well, not quite, cos i'm blogging)... but while i'm slowly but surely working my way through storage items i havent seen in years... i will be throwing out just 'traces' of memories... but not in a sad, oh, i'm throwing out memories kinda state... but rather, i thought id leave a record of my re-jigged memories here on the www. a virtual memory? thats probably a bit random and too abstract or just a silly play on words.
ok. so i found this:
4130 Manzanita Ave
(room 27)
South Lake Tahoe
CA 96150
(530) 544-6461
(530) 544-8061 (fax)
folks. that was the address i was living at in tahoe! how it is so easy to forget. but so easy to spark a memory.
manzanita ave. where the owners ' rob and barb' were some crazy californian hicks. i sure hope that the address doesnt come up too easily over time in google.
i lived in a motel for 4 months. but i tell you what. they were 4 of the best months of my life! i will never forget it.
that was a long time ago... 2001-2002 winter(northern hemisphere)
for those that dont know-- or didnt know me then. South Lake Tahoe is a little beautiful town on the south east part of Lake Tahoe-- 3 hours West of San Francisco, California (USA).
Its got beautiful Snow mountains surrounding the 2nd largest/deepest? lake in Northern America. Im hoping to go back one day. That would be great.
Oh, and i found a copy of my 'Social Security' card. Oh, thats 'so american!'
gee whiz. the things you find!
i also found an old diary for dec 2003.
things like
monday 15 dec:
"farewell, 8pm, The Oxford (Tranmere)"
tuesday 16 dec:
"Koorong- 3:45pm @ chloes. back by 6"
"Presentation Night, St. Ives @ 7pm"
wednesday 17 dec:
"interview with Kimberlee Chuck" {unbeknownst to me...which was to eventually kickstart my official event management career}
friday 19 dec:
"compassion payment"
saturday 20 dec:
"Kris Kringle family dinner"
.... other stuff like christmas happened... etc
then
monday 29th dec:
10am- brewbakers with Jo. {i remember that brunch too! :)}
Wed 28th Jan 2004:
Kt moves to Melbourne.
and so it goes... weddings, fun runs, scvb work experience
i guess its important to note that these 'flashbacks' bring a sense of wonder to them. well, that was certainly a busy and crazy, interesting time in my life.
now. its 2008.
i wonder what things i will look back on this year?
:D
so many things to look forward to.
decluttering for a start-- to a clear mind.
a new job. a new house perhaps? a new fresh start! and its nearly March!! I'm glad that everyday is a new start :)
shenanigans
i have a licence plate styled thing that is red with white writing.
it says "shenanigans" on it.
i got it made years ago because it was just one of those terms that i kept saying. i think i was 19.
what should i do with it? its behind on my bookshelf.
it says "shenanigans" on it.
i got it made years ago because it was just one of those terms that i kept saying. i think i was 19.
what should i do with it? its behind on my bookshelf.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
this is noice. sent from my sis to me.
St. Theresa's Prayer:
May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactlywhere you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.
May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactlywhere you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
love japanese bbq
its been an eventful day.
not that other days arent eventful, but today...
someone from recruitment agent (gasp!) they actually rang me back. notorious for not returning phonecalls... isnt it funny how the one you least expect actually is the one that bothers.
so... i have a typing test tomo at 12:30 in north sydney! hurrah! it'll be a lame test, one to test my typing, word, excel skills. heck. i'm even looking forward to it!
hey... if they can find me a decent job that wont do my head in. i'll be happy.
so... thats not the end of it... i was priveledged to slot into my sister's spot at the remedial masseuse today at willoughby leisure centre... thats not only the best bit...
low and behold-- i bump into kath (who is a primary school teacher) ... chilling out while her year 2 kids get some swimming lessons.
but there is more!
i was about to head to the swimschool office... because, as some of you may/maynot know...
i was once a swimming instructor back at uni... and well... get this-- they're desperate for teachers... (if only willoughby leisure centre looks THAT good-- thats a pool in mexico!)
after a few phone calls and (i need to re-acredit myself to do another 'Austswim' qualification)... bummer ... which will take about 3 days to do... and a few hundred bucks... but
they'll most likely take me on anyways-- so i have a meeting with them early next week too.
(no stalkers please)... i dont know if i should be posting on the world wide web my whereabouts! (i prefer to be a little more stealth than that)
it gets better.
my family (which is so nice to have around)... my sis/husband/nephew, othersis/partner, mum and i went to a japanese bbq place in neutral bay tonite.
it was all you can eat.
OMG!
awesome.
aside from cute pictures of my 2.5 year old nephew eating a soft serve cone--- i asked my sis to take pictures of me in the same poses, but to my disappointment... i dont quite look as cute as he.... (jokes). i'll post up comparitive pics later.
so. all in all. i'm feeling heaps better. theres nothing quite like people wanting you to work for them that makes the ego boost.
very necessary for someone like me. so... who knows. if you have any kids, send them my way. i'll probably be teaching them how to blow bubbles and freestyle soon enough. and i'm not talking about break dancing either!
ciao xo
not that other days arent eventful, but today...
someone from recruitment agent (gasp!) they actually rang me back. notorious for not returning phonecalls... isnt it funny how the one you least expect actually is the one that bothers.
so... i have a typing test tomo at 12:30 in north sydney! hurrah! it'll be a lame test, one to test my typing, word, excel skills. heck. i'm even looking forward to it!
hey... if they can find me a decent job that wont do my head in. i'll be happy.
so... thats not the end of it... i was priveledged to slot into my sister's spot at the remedial masseuse today at willoughby leisure centre... thats not only the best bit...
low and behold-- i bump into kath (who is a primary school teacher) ... chilling out while her year 2 kids get some swimming lessons.
but there is more!
i was about to head to the swimschool office... because, as some of you may/maynot know...
i was once a swimming instructor back at uni... and well... get this-- they're desperate for teachers... (if only willoughby leisure centre looks THAT good-- thats a pool in mexico!)
after a few phone calls and (i need to re-acredit myself to do another 'Austswim' qualification)... bummer ... which will take about 3 days to do... and a few hundred bucks... but
they'll most likely take me on anyways-- so i have a meeting with them early next week too.
(no stalkers please)... i dont know if i should be posting on the world wide web my whereabouts! (i prefer to be a little more stealth than that)
it gets better.
my family (which is so nice to have around)... my sis/husband/nephew, othersis/partner, mum and i went to a japanese bbq place in neutral bay tonite.it was all you can eat.
OMG!
awesome.
aside from cute pictures of my 2.5 year old nephew eating a soft serve cone--- i asked my sis to take pictures of me in the same poses, but to my disappointment... i dont quite look as cute as he.... (jokes). i'll post up comparitive pics later.
so. all in all. i'm feeling heaps better. theres nothing quite like people wanting you to work for them that makes the ego boost.
very necessary for someone like me. so... who knows. if you have any kids, send them my way. i'll probably be teaching them how to blow bubbles and freestyle soon enough. and i'm not talking about break dancing either!
ciao xo
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
a nice quote. yumcha...and...are eyes the window to the soul?
happiness is a healthy mental attitude, a grateful spirit, a clear conscience, and a heart full of love.
" it needs no dictionary of quotations to remind me that eyes are the windows of the soul" Max Beerbohm.
do you guys think this is true? what does it really mean... to say that 'eyes are the windows to the soul'?
can you really tell what a person is really like through their eyeballs? :P or is this just a lame attempt to question the realities of blindness? see ryans post which in that case... you may think you're seeing into someones soul, until you realise you cant even find your reading glasses? (random!)
or... is this just a creepy rendition of 'playschool' where you look through the 'round window'.... and there are kids skipping and playing outdoors in a 70's video with a voiceover by 'jemima' and 'big ted' start freaking you out.
ok. now i'm scaring myself.
- my mum gave me a little book today with lovely quotes. isnt she a darl? oh bless her.
- had yum-cha today with my 2 sisters sharon, michelle & her fiancee percy and mum. i forgot how dramatic a full-car-ride to northsydney could create such havoc! backseat drivers aside...
- ok. on another tangent.
" it needs no dictionary of quotations to remind me that eyes are the windows of the soul" Max Beerbohm.
do you guys think this is true? what does it really mean... to say that 'eyes are the windows to the soul'?
can you really tell what a person is really like through their eyeballs? :P or is this just a lame attempt to question the realities of blindness? see ryans post which in that case... you may think you're seeing into someones soul, until you realise you cant even find your reading glasses? (random!)
or... is this just a creepy rendition of 'playschool' where you look through the 'round window'.... and there are kids skipping and playing outdoors in a 70's video with a voiceover by 'jemima' and 'big ted' start freaking you out.
ok. now i'm scaring myself.
comedy club
it was clearly a boys nite. but in typical van-nee style. i rocked up anyways!
aside from racial slurs, homosexual jokes, political fanaticism, anti-christian bashing and some guy eating an onion (and no, it wasnt that funny).---and that was just the dude selling the drinks! (joke)...
i enjoyed the bad salad, the company of fellow friends, namely tom, ryan, andrew, howie and a dude called john who seemed to be more of a magician (appearing, disappearing and never re-appearing again).
i needed that laugh. i miss laughing so much. it reminds me of happier days when i used to be called 'the machine gun'... because i laughed so much! i like being around people that make me laugh. (yes, that is your purpose in life guys-- to keep van laughing)
vannee is on the mend. and thanks ryan for providing some inspiration on the 'job stakes'-- i could be a bike repairwoman... a miner... a... coke vending machine filler-innera.... and in relation to the potential that i could in fact dare to even think/ consider flatting with 3 boys. i was going to throw a (stinky) in there, but im not sure that you guys are stinky.
thoughts any blog readers? who has been a female and lived with 3 boys and lived to tell their tale?
(i can name a few, mil, jo, jem... you guys reading my blog?)
aside from racial slurs, homosexual jokes, political fanaticism, anti-christian bashing and some guy eating an onion (and no, it wasnt that funny).---and that was just the dude selling the drinks! (joke)...
i enjoyed the bad salad, the company of fellow friends, namely tom, ryan, andrew, howie and a dude called john who seemed to be more of a magician (appearing, disappearing and never re-appearing again).
i needed that laugh. i miss laughing so much. it reminds me of happier days when i used to be called 'the machine gun'... because i laughed so much! i like being around people that make me laugh. (yes, that is your purpose in life guys-- to keep van laughing)
vannee is on the mend. and thanks ryan for providing some inspiration on the 'job stakes'-- i could be a bike repairwoman... a miner... a... coke vending machine filler-innera.... and in relation to the potential that i could in fact dare to even think/ consider flatting with 3 boys. i was going to throw a (stinky) in there, but im not sure that you guys are stinky.
thoughts any blog readers? who has been a female and lived with 3 boys and lived to tell their tale?
(i can name a few, mil, jo, jem... you guys reading my blog?)
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
community. time. rollercoasters.
.... we all (or most) would know what its like to go on a rollercoaster...
well... this is how i've been feeling of late.
i cant quite put my finger on it, but i am glad that the rollercoaster is kinda less bumpy now---
so much of it involves staying connected... and focussed. it is hard. balance.
when you have felt so out of balance for a while... you start to feel a bit lost... which is how i have felt.
things that help me stay grounded...
i went to community dinner last nite at the commie house. it was my first time. familiar and new faces. i missed jo there, but i enjoy the inhabitants of the commie house' company most. their commitment to loving others and random dropper-inneras (like myself) reminds me much like a strong family. their ethos reminds me so much of a beautiful oak tree... they have planted their seed... and to grow it they water it with care, while they nuture and are considerate of each other... amongst life's mysteries , goodness and frustrations... and well... there is nothing quite like community.
having grown up in a very tight knit chinese family. i crave community. connection. love. support. laughter.
i miss it so.
other 'things' that make me most grounded i realise truly. are the quality of my connections and relationships to people closest to me in the world.
we really cant live without people.
and if we are ever in an environment that doesnt seek this general care and committment (cut throat world of advertising- my most recent experience of late)...
i dont work. i dont thrive. i struggle. i shrink.
because i cant be myself.
losing one self is probably the worst of all personal struggles-- borderline sinful too.
you wonder where God is-- you forget who God made you to be... its in there, but you just want to get it out.
when you feel like youve been trampled by the world-- its hard to unscrumple yourself.
you need to re-group. re-focus. trusting that God will restore... drawing on the strength of friends and family. it works.
one thing that i know is.
it takes time.
perhaps a lifetime. because life isnt all roses. but difficulties, just like good times... all have their seasons.
maybe i'm just learning this again.
its important to not let the set-backs be that-- we strive to move forward... for God promises that in Jeremiah 29... that he has great plans for us. not to harm us. plans to give us a hope and a future.
i need to repeat this often and be reminded. its not easy-- but through laughter, fun, and less seriousness... Life can be enjoyed and God has ... as he has promised... to never leave us nor forsake us.
Thank Goodness for God! and Thank Goodness for community.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Happy Belated New Year and ... the Australian Open
Hi Dear Bloggers!
Its been a while since my last post... Last year to be exact!!
Thanks for those who have read my blog... those that have probably lost interest due to the blue tones and for those that have perked up interest...
Alas... I am almost back to 'normal'. Its not fun being down. In fact. I hope that I dont get that sick again either.
So... to bring it to a lighter note and indulge a little fantasy and zany-ness to this crazy blog... Here is a picture of non other than Hottie #1 for the Year... my crush on Roger Federer.
Not only has he been the #1 Tennis player for 209 consecutive weeks (which is about 4 years at the top!)-- how does he do it? He is an absolute spunk.
Probably because he's a spunk. Yes. that helps his tennis methinks. (haha, i laugh at the absurdity of the thought)
I would post up pics of my adventures recently in Japan... for those that realised i went on a kamikaze trip away to try and escape the craziness of Sydney for a while...
I loved it. A trip where you dont want to come home? Yes, Waist deep powder snow in the coolest country (excuse the pun) in the world...
It was amazing.
I went to Hakuba (near Nagano- where the 19?? Winter Olympics was)... which is about 4 hours by train/ car from Tokyo. Spent Christmas there with friends from all around the world-- mostly new friends and friends of old acquaintances (how quaint)...
Then took a really cool overnight train (i somehow love the spirit of adventure it is to sleep on a sleeper/ carriage train)... which involved going through the longest underwater tunnel in the world (or something like that... maybe not... does it compete with the england to paris tunnel?)... between the top island of Hokkaido and the other chunk of country we were departing in japan called Honshu (thats the name of the island)...
We then proceeded to rent a car from Sapporo which was a brave thought by Ricky, but she had travelled to Japan to ski a couple of times before, so she seemed confident of this adventure!! I wasnt so sure, but convinced it would all work out... -- by the way.. this was Ricky, Dougs and Matty. Ricky was much needed female counterpart on this trip... what with too much testosterone on the ski slopes/ on and off the mountain... could get a bit much for the vanster!
We went to the Mid/Northish region of Hokkaido which included visits to Furano, Asakikawa, Mt Kamui (Links), AsahiDake- which was way cool... after 7 days, we bid farewell to Ricky, and the car back in Sapporo and proceeded to spend another 7 days in Niseko (where there are more Aussies than japanese) which was an awesome mountain... I hadnt seen so many white people in a while to be honest!
I kinda miss the 'anchovie' breakfasts with raw egg, rice and preserved veggies... haha and miso soup.
I also miss having Ramen (noodles) for lunch on the mountain instead of yucky western hamburgers (although, dont get me wrong, i still love yucky western hamburgers ala McD's for sure... but now while in Japan!)
I lOVE japanese food!
okee dokee..
here is a map of japan and i'll crap more about this trip at a later date :D
love to all and leave comments! I love it when ppl leave comments...
xoxo
Its been a while since my last post... Last year to be exact!!
Thanks for those who have read my blog... those that have probably lost interest due to the blue tones and for those that have perked up interest...
Alas... I am almost back to 'normal'. Its not fun being down. In fact. I hope that I dont get that sick again either.
So... to bring it to a lighter note and indulge a little fantasy and zany-ness to this crazy blog... Here is a picture of non other than Hottie #1 for the Year... my crush on Roger Federer.
Not only has he been the #1 Tennis player for 209 consecutive weeks (which is about 4 years at the top!)-- how does he do it? He is an absolute spunk.
Probably because he's a spunk. Yes. that helps his tennis methinks. (haha, i laugh at the absurdity of the thought)
I would post up pics of my adventures recently in Japan... for those that realised i went on a kamikaze trip away to try and escape the craziness of Sydney for a while...
I loved it. A trip where you dont want to come home? Yes, Waist deep powder snow in the coolest country (excuse the pun) in the world...
It was amazing.
I went to Hakuba (near Nagano- where the 19?? Winter Olympics was)... which is about 4 hours by train/ car from Tokyo. Spent Christmas there with friends from all around the world-- mostly new friends and friends of old acquaintances (how quaint)...
Then took a really cool overnight train (i somehow love the spirit of adventure it is to sleep on a sleeper/ carriage train)... which involved going through the longest underwater tunnel in the world (or something like that... maybe not... does it compete with the england to paris tunnel?)... between the top island of Hokkaido and the other chunk of country we were departing in japan called Honshu (thats the name of the island)...
We then proceeded to rent a car from Sapporo which was a brave thought by Ricky, but she had travelled to Japan to ski a couple of times before, so she seemed confident of this adventure!! I wasnt so sure, but convinced it would all work out... -- by the way.. this was Ricky, Dougs and Matty. Ricky was much needed female counterpart on this trip... what with too much testosterone on the ski slopes/ on and off the mountain... could get a bit much for the vanster!
We went to the Mid/Northish region of Hokkaido which included visits to Furano, Asakikawa, Mt Kamui (Links), AsahiDake- which was way cool... after 7 days, we bid farewell to Ricky, and the car back in Sapporo and proceeded to spend another 7 days in Niseko (where there are more Aussies than japanese) which was an awesome mountain... I hadnt seen so many white people in a while to be honest!
I kinda miss the 'anchovie' breakfasts with raw egg, rice and preserved veggies... haha and miso soup.
I also miss having Ramen (noodles) for lunch on the mountain instead of yucky western hamburgers (although, dont get me wrong, i still love yucky western hamburgers ala McD's for sure... but now while in Japan!)
I lOVE japanese food!
okee dokee..
here is a map of japan and i'll crap more about this trip at a later date :D
love to all and leave comments! I love it when ppl leave comments...
xoxo
Saturday, December 22, 2007
fleeing the country. White Christmas time in Japan
Only one sleep to go!!!!
A dream come true. I will spending some quality pow pow times in Japan to go snowboarding this Christmas!
A dream come true. I will spending some quality pow pow times in Japan to go snowboarding this Christmas!
Monday, December 10, 2007
I'm saving the planet- one leftover at a time...
According to this article... i'm not alone when it comes to eating leftovers with a post-war grandma and rationing! Mamma Fung has it all!
That and i just saw there are tickets to the backstreet boys. reminds me of skins!
and sidenote...I think my time of freakout and high anxiety has passed. I have been feeling lost and tired and overwhelmed by the effects and changes of the past 3-6 months.
i'm looking forward to chilling out and chilling on down snowboarding in Japan!!! This has only transpired in the past week. and Ive realised that being single and young is the BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!
That and i just saw there are tickets to the backstreet boys. reminds me of skins!
and sidenote...I think my time of freakout and high anxiety has passed. I have been feeling lost and tired and overwhelmed by the effects and changes of the past 3-6 months.
i'm looking forward to chilling out and chilling on down snowboarding in Japan!!! This has only transpired in the past week. and Ive realised that being single and young is the BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, December 03, 2007
weekend shenanigans
speaking of people i love...
the sal tan was in town over the weekend and i tell you what-- she was a site for sore eyes!
i miss the tanner lots and wish she was still in sydney...
but GOOD TIMES>
we went to MACAS at about 10pm... went to our favourite 'romance' spot at cremorne point and it was just like old times! I love that about friends.... real friends you can relax around-- not have a care in the world... and then we went back to the drive-thru again 1/2 an hour later for choc sundaes with flakes in them!! hehe
love it...
or is it... 'i'm loving it'.
ps. i'm in a way better mood today from work. i'm a lot less stressed. and a lot less tired and i think i might just make it til the end of the year... and maybe even longer now... i think i've made it through the fire!
the sal tan was in town over the weekend and i tell you what-- she was a site for sore eyes!
i miss the tanner lots and wish she was still in sydney...
but GOOD TIMES>
we went to MACAS at about 10pm... went to our favourite 'romance' spot at cremorne point and it was just like old times! I love that about friends.... real friends you can relax around-- not have a care in the world... and then we went back to the drive-thru again 1/2 an hour later for choc sundaes with flakes in them!! hehe
love it...
or is it... 'i'm loving it'.
ps. i'm in a way better mood today from work. i'm a lot less stressed. and a lot less tired and i think i might just make it til the end of the year... and maybe even longer now... i think i've made it through the fire!
i got an email from jo today
I love jo. she is one of my most favouritest bestest friends in the whole wide world.
she is in mexico at the moment and has been updating her blog
i love it!
http://jo.footboot.net/
she is in mexico at the moment and has been updating her blog
i love it!
http://jo.footboot.net/
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
27.com
it was my bday yesterday.
i dont know why i'm publishing this on my blog... but i definately think it sounded worse than i thought.
yes. its still under 30 and yes, i have been told its still young.
but crap. its just that little bit closer to 30 than i thought!
breathe van breathe. its all ok!!!
ps. people believe me when i tell them i turned 21.
pps. its them asian genes!
i dont know why i'm publishing this on my blog... but i definately think it sounded worse than i thought.
yes. its still under 30 and yes, i have been told its still young.
but crap. its just that little bit closer to 30 than i thought!
breathe van breathe. its all ok!!!
ps. people believe me when i tell them i turned 21.
pps. its them asian genes!
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Happier note! Babies are born!!
Hey...
just thought i'd lighten up my very lame and depressing self reflecting-- tortured soul of a blog (whatever happened to the minivanmegaFUN bit?)
ok. so my mood has picked up strangely enough...
good onya 'peppermint crisp' (gotta love mint & chocolate... my favourite!)
anyhoo.. wanted to share photos of dear family friends of ours... Leo and Cecelia's baby :D Lachlan. Aint he CUTE?!
coping with life
hmm...
i've decided that the word 'coping' sounds like you're barely scraping it.
thats how i've felt.
have i ever announced on my blog that i've had/got/hate having depression?
now... thats an announcement and a half!
who that is reading my blog (or cares) actually know that i suffer from the pains of the illness? and no, you cant just 'snap' out of it... its not just 'i felt blue today'and e.thing is backto normal next day.
depression is a drawn out process that sucks the living life out of you... for me, it is triggered by a series of stressful life events.
when/ if / hopefully you wont have to bear the carnage of stressful events that have occurred in my life these past 3-6+ months!
quitting job... no job.... searching job... new job.... relationship starting & ending.... stressful outcomes to events i have no control of (will not bore or divulge here)... moving house... moving back 'home'.... going to AFRICA for the first time...
ok. that within 3-6 months has been more than i could bear.
i've been pretty darn sick...
anyways... i think i'm on the mend.
i'm on a strict regimen of walking at 7am for 1/2 hour everyday... its a habit i must form to get me 'out' of this blueness... exercise stimulates the lower doses of dopamine in the brain which makes you 'feel good'... hence why you usually feel good after a session at the gym or physical activity!
anyhoo... thats a good start. lets hope i can make it!
having supportive friends help and i recommend going to www.livinglifetothefull.com for some useful/ helpful life strategies and tips...
i wonder if my announcement has surprised anybody.
oh well.. i dont even know who reads my blog these days, so depending on how quickly i churn out these entries, if you dont read this particular entry, then you wont know about it!
i've decided that the word 'coping' sounds like you're barely scraping it.
thats how i've felt.
have i ever announced on my blog that i've had/got/hate having depression?
now... thats an announcement and a half!
who that is reading my blog (or cares) actually know that i suffer from the pains of the illness? and no, you cant just 'snap' out of it... its not just 'i felt blue today'and e.thing is backto normal next day.
depression is a drawn out process that sucks the living life out of you... for me, it is triggered by a series of stressful life events.
when/ if / hopefully you wont have to bear the carnage of stressful events that have occurred in my life these past 3-6+ months!
quitting job... no job.... searching job... new job.... relationship starting & ending.... stressful outcomes to events i have no control of (will not bore or divulge here)... moving house... moving back 'home'.... going to AFRICA for the first time...
ok. that within 3-6 months has been more than i could bear.
i've been pretty darn sick...
anyways... i think i'm on the mend.
i'm on a strict regimen of walking at 7am for 1/2 hour everyday... its a habit i must form to get me 'out' of this blueness... exercise stimulates the lower doses of dopamine in the brain which makes you 'feel good'... hence why you usually feel good after a session at the gym or physical activity!
anyhoo... thats a good start. lets hope i can make it!
having supportive friends help and i recommend going to www.livinglifetothefull.com for some useful/ helpful life strategies and tips...
i wonder if my announcement has surprised anybody.
oh well.. i dont even know who reads my blog these days, so depending on how quickly i churn out these entries, if you dont read this particular entry, then you wont know about it!
Saturday, November 03, 2007
tired again. my back clicked like the hokey spokeys on a bike!
dudes.
is it me? or is it work? or the stress of having to move house?
im thankful i can have my mum's place to move to, however, not looking forward to having to physically move the contents from my apt and sell off all the various goods i dont need... (ugh)
i went to my chinese doctor today. yes he speaks chinese and no, he doesnt include free yum cha!
jokes.
well. he said my back must have been 'this bad' for quite some time. when he did his usual remedial massage-- which by the way, is one of the most physically painful but necessary forms of back manipulation... the twisting and back pressure and stretching... made my back... when it cracked, sound like a freakin fire cracker! it was pretty bad..... my spine is meant to be realigned now.
i'm still stiff, sore and tired though. so no points there.
moving house? :( boo....i think i'll just need to get on with it once my body recovers. i think thats where all the energy has been sapped from.... lack of oxygen to one's brain due to bad back has caused me to suffer all kinds of weird and wonderful pains!
not happy jan! procrastination doesnt help...
ps. gee- thanks for your comment. i think my happyness 'mood' is fleeting. i'm just tired and grumpy again!!
pps. trying to 'choose joy'... whatever that means!!!
ppps. missing all my furry friends that are living far away-- or have moved overseas in recent times or will be!!!!!! not naming names... i'm quite sad& upset!
is it me? or is it work? or the stress of having to move house?
im thankful i can have my mum's place to move to, however, not looking forward to having to physically move the contents from my apt and sell off all the various goods i dont need... (ugh)
i went to my chinese doctor today. yes he speaks chinese and no, he doesnt include free yum cha!
jokes.
well. he said my back must have been 'this bad' for quite some time. when he did his usual remedial massage-- which by the way, is one of the most physically painful but necessary forms of back manipulation... the twisting and back pressure and stretching... made my back... when it cracked, sound like a freakin fire cracker! it was pretty bad..... my spine is meant to be realigned now.
i'm still stiff, sore and tired though. so no points there.
moving house? :( boo....i think i'll just need to get on with it once my body recovers. i think thats where all the energy has been sapped from.... lack of oxygen to one's brain due to bad back has caused me to suffer all kinds of weird and wonderful pains!
not happy jan! procrastination doesnt help...
ps. gee- thanks for your comment. i think my happyness 'mood' is fleeting. i'm just tired and grumpy again!!
pps. trying to 'choose joy'... whatever that means!!!
ppps. missing all my furry friends that are living far away-- or have moved overseas in recent times or will be!!!!!! not naming names... i'm quite sad& upset!
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
happy again
ok.
where did my 'black dog' 'grey clouds' go?
i dont know. but i'm glad its gone.
its not that my situation right now is necessarily any different to my life previously.
its just that i've gained some new perspective that i have been waiting for.
i think going to Africa will do that to a person.
its reframed my life.
i dont want to forget what i have seen. nor do i want to ponder on the affects of the pain it causes me when i do.
i have a renewed sense of purpose. of peace, of determination and of thankfulness.
absolute thankfulness that i am blessed beyond even more than i have ever imagined before.
i am still human... i still hurt, i still bleed, and i can still find joy amongst the ashes.
there is beauty in ashes... in the painful places... in the hurting places.
i discovered today... that indeed, the Joy of the Lord is my strength.
it is not 'the joy of my job' or the 'joy of my posessions'... maybe even the 'joy of my friends/family' is my strength, although my friends & family do give me strength- i think God blesses us through our relationships/community.
through and through however.. above all else...
the Joy of the Lord is my strength.
i think i know what that means now. i didnt realise it before. i like it. i have peace.
ps. meditating on scripture that reminds us to focus on things that are pure and godly are very helpful. reading tom's blog or any of the commie bloggers (found on my links on the left) help to make me laugh. that helps. lots. community rocks!
where did my 'black dog' 'grey clouds' go?
i dont know. but i'm glad its gone.
its not that my situation right now is necessarily any different to my life previously.
its just that i've gained some new perspective that i have been waiting for.
i think going to Africa will do that to a person.
its reframed my life.
i dont want to forget what i have seen. nor do i want to ponder on the affects of the pain it causes me when i do.
i have a renewed sense of purpose. of peace, of determination and of thankfulness.
absolute thankfulness that i am blessed beyond even more than i have ever imagined before.
i am still human... i still hurt, i still bleed, and i can still find joy amongst the ashes.
there is beauty in ashes... in the painful places... in the hurting places.
i discovered today... that indeed, the Joy of the Lord is my strength.
it is not 'the joy of my job' or the 'joy of my posessions'... maybe even the 'joy of my friends/family' is my strength, although my friends & family do give me strength- i think God blesses us through our relationships/community.
through and through however.. above all else...
the Joy of the Lord is my strength.
i think i know what that means now. i didnt realise it before. i like it. i have peace.
ps. meditating on scripture that reminds us to focus on things that are pure and godly are very helpful. reading tom's blog or any of the commie bloggers (found on my links on the left) help to make me laugh. that helps. lots. community rocks!
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Alive & Kicking in Africa!
Email from me:
Hiyas- im Alive in Africa!
i am now in Kampala, Uganda Africa!
I have survived a 14hr flight to dubai, 2hour stopover and another 6 hour journey to Entebbe airport Uganda, via Ethiopia!
I was tempted to try the 'McArabia' meal but decided against, it, but i will admit, i couldnt help but eat a cheeseburger in Dubai airport- ok, i was bored and buying 'Arabia Dance Hot100' really was not my thing...
I worked at the Watoto 'Bulrushes' Baby's home today, got puked on- projectile vomit style, but loved seeing these beautiful orphaned, abandoned babies get a 2nd chance at life... there are over 56 kids in this centre-- and funnily enough, all very well behaved! there are some fighting for their lives (either being thrown out of a window after childbirth, or left out in the bush to die...)... so sad! But these kids are adorable.. ranging from premature/ newborns to 2 year olds.
Will be heading to the 'Suubi' Watoto school village tomorrow to build/ paint the kitchen facility for the school. Should be an amazing experience.
Uganda is an interesting place to say the least... and of course of its 'developing nature'... has so much potential. Funny story though-- the Queen (Elizabeth II) is meant to be visiting Uganda in Nov for a commonwealth conference. They only just started building the special 'hotel' facility a month ago apparently? drove past it today... looks like a construction site!!
ok. missing you all and enjoying this interesting experience. Going on a safari this weekend for 3 days... i hope to see a hippo-- or a giraffe or two? and will be building for the next few days and back at the babies home on friday... next week will be a mix of other community activities with Watoto programs (btw, Watoto means Children in Ugandan)
ok. and if for some strange reason you have no idea why you have received this email from me... woops! Dudes, if you've gotten this far in reading this email-- Van is in AFRICA! visit www.watoto.com to find out more about the program i am participating in here!
ciao for now!
xo Van :D
ps. staying here. its pretty darn good for Africa i say! http://www.emmausguesthouse.com/
Interesting article about a photojournalist. I like the quote from Oscar Wilde near the bottom.
Dispatches from the front
By Beryl Wajsman, Editor, The Suburban
Robert J. Galbraith
Montrealer Robert J. Galbraith is one of the leading war photojournalists of this generation. Galbraith’s career in journalism spans 20 years. He has written and/or photographed for numerous publications in North America and Europe including The New York Times. His reputation reached new heights when he published Iraq: Eyewitness to War — A$">Photojournalist’s Diary. $">$">Galbraith refused to be an embedded reporter with the American forces and he did not want to sit through orchestrated press conferences at the press centre. He wanted total freedom to cover the war. At great personal peril, he managed to cover the war in a way that has rarely been seen.$">$">Unlike many in the media, despite the human toll and tragedy he documented, his is a compelling and authentic voice on the importance of a heightened Canadian military and diplomatic engagement in democratic development and nation-building worldwide.$">$">Iraq was not his first tour in a war zone. That came in Israel during the scud missle attacks. Then Galbraith covered the rest of the first Gulf War. He returned to Iraq to cover the current war and then he went to Afghanistan in 2005. He has been in the process of planning a new mission to Afghanistan for the better part of the year. Robert feels it is vital to record the critical role Canadian troops are playing in the Kandahar operation. There are untold stories of heroism and valour amidst the service and sacrifice that have literally saved the allied mission. Robert means to tell those stories. He left yesterday for his latest rendezvous with destiny.$">$">We at The Suburban are honoured that many of the freelance reports and photos that Robert will be filing will be published in our pages. $">$">Robert’s decision to include this newspaper among the recipients of his dispatches attests to the success of the broader scope we have taken and the heightened relevance of our impact. $">$">During a conference on Iraq organized by my Institute for Public Affairs of Montreal, Robert told me this about his work: “During the compilation of my book, many of my friends said that the cover was too shocking, and might turn off prospective buyers. But to me it was perhaps the most powerful image to come out of my journey, and the symbolism it reflected. Photojournalism is not just documentation. It is also about advancing art.
Oscar Wilde said that art should affront, should repulse, otherwise it will never advance.
There are many war books out there with neutral or boring covers. I wanted people to have a finger stuck in their eye when they saw my book, and to realize that this is the real thing, this is the real account of the misery of war. “
“ This is the kind of hard-hitting journalism you can expect from Robert Galbraith’s dispatches from the front”
In our talks over the past few weeks I asked what motivated him to pursue this latest adventure. Hadn’t he proven his courage? Hadn’t he done enough to raise conscience and consciousness? His answer was poignant and instructive for us all.
“We should always be willing and fearless to challenge the darkness,” he said. “Whatever that darkness is. Be it subjugation of another people or the ghosts in our own closets. You are never more alive as when you challenge your worst fears. This is why I am a war photojournalist, and will ever continue to be.”
To learn more about this extraordinary man and his remarkable work, visit his website at www.robertgalbraith.com and look for his stories and pictures in the weeks to come.
2007-10-03 10:14:41
Hiyas- im Alive in Africa!
i am now in Kampala, Uganda Africa!
I have survived a 14hr flight to dubai, 2hour stopover and another 6 hour journey to Entebbe airport Uganda, via Ethiopia!
I was tempted to try the 'McArabia' meal but decided against, it, but i will admit, i couldnt help but eat a cheeseburger in Dubai airport- ok, i was bored and buying 'Arabia Dance Hot100' really was not my thing...
I worked at the Watoto 'Bulrushes' Baby's home today, got puked on- projectile vomit style, but loved seeing these beautiful orphaned, abandoned babies get a 2nd chance at life... there are over 56 kids in this centre-- and funnily enough, all very well behaved! there are some fighting for their lives (either being thrown out of a window after childbirth, or left out in the bush to die...)... so sad! But these kids are adorable.. ranging from premature/ newborns to 2 year olds.
Will be heading to the 'Suubi' Watoto school village tomorrow to build/ paint the kitchen facility for the school. Should be an amazing experience.
Uganda is an interesting place to say the least... and of course of its 'developing nature'... has so much potential. Funny story though-- the Queen (Elizabeth II) is meant to be visiting Uganda in Nov for a commonwealth conference. They only just started building the special 'hotel' facility a month ago apparently? drove past it today... looks like a construction site!!
ok. missing you all and enjoying this interesting experience. Going on a safari this weekend for 3 days... i hope to see a hippo-- or a giraffe or two? and will be building for the next few days and back at the babies home on friday... next week will be a mix of other community activities with Watoto programs (btw, Watoto means Children in Ugandan)
ok. and if for some strange reason you have no idea why you have received this email from me... woops! Dudes, if you've gotten this far in reading this email-- Van is in AFRICA! visit www.watoto.com to find out more about the program i am participating in here!
ciao for now!
xo Van :D
ps. staying here. its pretty darn good for Africa i say! http://www.emmausguesthouse.com/
Interesting article about a photojournalist. I like the quote from Oscar Wilde near the bottom.
Dispatches from the front
By Beryl Wajsman, Editor, The Suburban
Robert J. Galbraith
Montrealer Robert J. Galbraith is one of the leading war photojournalists of this generation. Galbraith’s career in journalism spans 20 years. He has written and/or photographed for numerous publications in North America and Europe including The New York Times. His reputation reached new heights when he published Iraq: Eyewitness to War — A$">Photojournalist’s Diary. $">$">Galbraith refused to be an embedded reporter with the American forces and he did not want to sit through orchestrated press conferences at the press centre. He wanted total freedom to cover the war. At great personal peril, he managed to cover the war in a way that has rarely been seen.$">$">Unlike many in the media, despite the human toll and tragedy he documented, his is a compelling and authentic voice on the importance of a heightened Canadian military and diplomatic engagement in democratic development and nation-building worldwide.$">$">Iraq was not his first tour in a war zone. That came in Israel during the scud missle attacks. Then Galbraith covered the rest of the first Gulf War. He returned to Iraq to cover the current war and then he went to Afghanistan in 2005. He has been in the process of planning a new mission to Afghanistan for the better part of the year. Robert feels it is vital to record the critical role Canadian troops are playing in the Kandahar operation. There are untold stories of heroism and valour amidst the service and sacrifice that have literally saved the allied mission. Robert means to tell those stories. He left yesterday for his latest rendezvous with destiny.$">$">We at The Suburban are honoured that many of the freelance reports and photos that Robert will be filing will be published in our pages. $">$">Robert’s decision to include this newspaper among the recipients of his dispatches attests to the success of the broader scope we have taken and the heightened relevance of our impact. $">$">During a conference on Iraq organized by my Institute for Public Affairs of Montreal, Robert told me this about his work: “During the compilation of my book, many of my friends said that the cover was too shocking, and might turn off prospective buyers. But to me it was perhaps the most powerful image to come out of my journey, and the symbolism it reflected. Photojournalism is not just documentation. It is also about advancing art.
Oscar Wilde said that art should affront, should repulse, otherwise it will never advance.
There are many war books out there with neutral or boring covers. I wanted people to have a finger stuck in their eye when they saw my book, and to realize that this is the real thing, this is the real account of the misery of war. “
“ This is the kind of hard-hitting journalism you can expect from Robert Galbraith’s dispatches from the front”
In our talks over the past few weeks I asked what motivated him to pursue this latest adventure. Hadn’t he proven his courage? Hadn’t he done enough to raise conscience and consciousness? His answer was poignant and instructive for us all.
“We should always be willing and fearless to challenge the darkness,” he said. “Whatever that darkness is. Be it subjugation of another people or the ghosts in our own closets. You are never more alive as when you challenge your worst fears. This is why I am a war photojournalist, and will ever continue to be.”
To learn more about this extraordinary man and his remarkable work, visit his website at www.robertgalbraith.com and look for his stories and pictures in the weeks to come.
2007-10-03 10:14:41
Monday, September 24, 2007
going to Africa in 4 sleeps!
ok. so i've been slack with the blogging.
i've gone a bit MIA for a bit.
sorting out my life. worrying too much.
thinking i worry too little.
i think its better to worry little. whats to worry about?
ok. been stressed, but heck. i need to take a chill pill.
aside from the landladee sal-meist selling the epic mortgage sucking life device that is the wonderful rangies...
jokes!
i have been mourning the loss... or the potential loss... and the impending move out of here!
life will be different... and life wont be the same... but i am embarking on a journey in the meantime to Africa..
a trip that i committed to wanting to go 2 years ago when they announced at church that they were planning to take a team to UGANDA for a project called watoto childcare ministries! www.watoto.com (support them! they are well worth the cause!)
what sparked the interest was the fact that my dear sponsor child Christine is a local Ugandan young lass herself and i've always wanted to go visit her... and i've been doing that since the beginning of 2003.
thats been a humbling and great committment to think that my little self can help transform the life of a young woman who in many circumstances did not choose where she was born, but into a large loving family that is impoverished! it makes me feel very overindulgent indeed... the life in the western world... and completely unjust... how the heck did i get born into the family i did... with the opportunities that i've had... and well... you know where i'm heading with that...
so... off i go... Friday yonder... into a foreign land.
I am excited, anxious... ever so anticipating ... wondering how the heck i will cope with the sites and sounds... i think the 'thought' of it is often more tormenting than perhaps what i may actually experience.
the 'world vision' ads will no longer be just a thing i can switch off the television. These people are real, they have real needs and major social problems that CAN be helped!
I feel so humbled and priveledged that i can, in my own way... contribute towards a better life for these young kids at watoto...
life is so different there... and yes, 'blood diamond' and 'the last king of scotland' will scarily reflect a life that so few of us will ever want or have to experience, but elements of which are a reality for fellow human beings.
i think i need to write in my blog more often. it helps me clarify my thoughts.
i've been stressed. i've even had the blues. but i'm OK. and i'm on ON MY WAY!!!! bring it ON!!!!!!!!!!
i've gone a bit MIA for a bit.
sorting out my life. worrying too much.
thinking i worry too little.
i think its better to worry little. whats to worry about?
ok. been stressed, but heck. i need to take a chill pill.
aside from the landladee sal-meist selling the epic mortgage sucking life device that is the wonderful rangies...
jokes!
i have been mourning the loss... or the potential loss... and the impending move out of here!
life will be different... and life wont be the same... but i am embarking on a journey in the meantime to Africa..
a trip that i committed to wanting to go 2 years ago when they announced at church that they were planning to take a team to UGANDA for a project called watoto childcare ministries! www.watoto.com (support them! they are well worth the cause!)
what sparked the interest was the fact that my dear sponsor child Christine is a local Ugandan young lass herself and i've always wanted to go visit her... and i've been doing that since the beginning of 2003.
thats been a humbling and great committment to think that my little self can help transform the life of a young woman who in many circumstances did not choose where she was born, but into a large loving family that is impoverished! it makes me feel very overindulgent indeed... the life in the western world... and completely unjust... how the heck did i get born into the family i did... with the opportunities that i've had... and well... you know where i'm heading with that...
so... off i go... Friday yonder... into a foreign land.
I am excited, anxious... ever so anticipating ... wondering how the heck i will cope with the sites and sounds... i think the 'thought' of it is often more tormenting than perhaps what i may actually experience.
the 'world vision' ads will no longer be just a thing i can switch off the television. These people are real, they have real needs and major social problems that CAN be helped!
I feel so humbled and priveledged that i can, in my own way... contribute towards a better life for these young kids at watoto...
life is so different there... and yes, 'blood diamond' and 'the last king of scotland' will scarily reflect a life that so few of us will ever want or have to experience, but elements of which are a reality for fellow human beings.
i think i need to write in my blog more often. it helps me clarify my thoughts.
i've been stressed. i've even had the blues. but i'm OK. and i'm on ON MY WAY!!!! bring it ON!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, September 06, 2007
The Coming Home blues- from Travel Blog on SMH
Hi Peeps,
this blog has made me feel better already that there are others that feel exactly the same way i do after travelling... I havent even gone to Africa yet, but i'm anticipating some kinda rude shock when i get back to 'reality' and work for me in the western world!
Pray for me!! Its going to be pretty mind blowing...
23 Sleeps to go!
xo
http://blogs.smh.com.au/travel/archives/2007/09/the_coming_home_blues.html
Every person, dedicated traveller or not, has had a case of the coming home blues.
this blog has made me feel better already that there are others that feel exactly the same way i do after travelling... I havent even gone to Africa yet, but i'm anticipating some kinda rude shock when i get back to 'reality' and work for me in the western world!
Pray for me!! Its going to be pretty mind blowing...
23 Sleeps to go!
xo
http://blogs.smh.com.au/travel/archives/2007/09/the_coming_home_blues.html
Every person, dedicated traveller or not, has had a case of the coming home blues.
It could be only mild - like when you find yourself back at the desk after a weekend away - or it could be more extreme - after a few years on the road - but there's always the realisation that things at home aren't as fun as they are on holidays.
I've had the coming home blues a few times, and they seem to be getting worse. And, as far as I can tell, there doesn't seem to be any remedy, no quick fix for your travel-related downer, no sports panel show to rush home to and discuss the ills of your life.
Worst of all, it's pretty hard to get sympathy from people when you've just spent a few months/years having the time of your life ...
In my experience, the longer the trip away, the worse the coming home blues are. They're like Monday-itis times about 100 - you become a shadow of your former care-free, holidaying self.
For those who are yet to experience this affliction, here are the common steps leading to coming home blues:
Step 1
Make the decision to come home. This is usually accompanied by a feeling of excitement at seeing your family and old buddies again, coupled with a slight sense of foreboding.
Step 2
Arrive home. Experience the initial joy of seeing everyone and having them at least feign interest in your adventures. Eat whatever it is you've been craving for the last six months (a sausage roll for me).
Step 3
Realise you're broke, and, most probably, don't have a job. Start mournfully flipping through the employment sections trying to decide what best you can fake experience in. Discovery Travel and Living is now your favourite TV channel.
Step 4
Realise no one really cares about all the crazy/exciting things you got up to overseas. Worse still, realise you're no longer getting up to them.
Step 5
Begin to remember why you went overseas in the first place - everything at home was boring. Realise everything at home is still boring. Continue flipping through employment sections.
Step 6
Your friends, realising that every single one of your stories from now on will begin with the phrase, "This one time when I was in ..." have stopped calling. You've begun morosely checking your hotmail each morning, catching up on what your friends who are still overseas are doing. Frighteningly, you're craving a full English breakfast from the greasy spoon down on the high street. No one knows what you're talking about.
Step 7
Forced to take the first job you're offered, you pretend to work whilst actually flitting in between researching new destinations on the Lonely Planet website, and looking at your own travel photos on Facebook. You've taken to eating lunch at Spanish/Italian/Vietnamese/Thai/Mexican/Indian/Nepalese restaurants so you can try and persuade yourself you're still there. Once again, you realise you're not.
About this stage, the coming home blues have firmly set in. You're moping around all day, mumbling things like, "Cabs wouldn't cost this much in India", and wondering why the hell you decided to come home in the first place.
So what do you do to alleviate your symptoms?
First, stop looking at your damn photos - it's just going to make you more miserable. Countless times I've thought to myself, "I'm feeling a bit blue ... I know what will cheer me up: looking at pictures of myself when I was really happy!"
Doesn't work.
Second, surround yourself with fellow travellers. Nothing eases pain more than sharing it. This may involve becoming the seedy guy surreptitiously hanging out in the hostel bar, but, you know, desperate times ...
Even better is to come home when someone else you know who is coming home - that way you can share the whole experience, and that's one less person who'll be emailling you about their latest adventures from some far-off land.
However, those bitten by the travel bug will know that these are all band-aid treatments. The only way to truly beat the blues is to knuckle down, get saving, and bugger off overseas again at the first opportunity.
Sure, you're setting yourself up for another battle with the blues - but it's worth it, isn't it?
Monday, August 27, 2007
tiredness, recovery from the flu and joy
im tired.
i was meant to go to my 'mandarin' class. no, not to peel oranges, but the national language/ official mother tongue of china. the homeland.
yes, i'm pisstaking.
but no, i'm not joking about the china bit!
i didnt particularly feel like repeating ' this is a pen'... ' this is not my brother'... ' my school bag has 3 books inside'... in chinese.
boo hoo.
whinge whinge...
i think there are too many things going on in my life at the moment for one little minivan to process.
1) the salmeist is thinking of selling the rangies
2) i'm going to africa in just over 4 weeks (to build houses for watoto.com and to visit my sponsor child compassion.org)
3) some of my bestest friends are moving overseas... for at least 12 months
skins, frenchie, asha... in the next few months... and well... i shall focus on the dear friends that will be in the country... however, i cant help but think a piece of me will be left slightly emptier because of their abscence... but thank the Lord for the internet!?! which helps us all keep in touch, but still... i cant help but think the internet for me, is just a poor excuse for communicating sometimes... typing out thoughts just aint the same as a telephone call or a real hug, let alone a 'superpoke' or a 'give a beer to ____' hahahahah.
hmmmm....
anyhoo... so its monday, and i'll whinge that i have over-committed in my chinese class for mondays for the rest of the year...
i just thought it might help me order yum cha in mandarin instead of canto...
oh well!
the flu for me, is almost fully gone... today is the first monday i havent completely wanted to dry wretch at the thought of having to go to work.... (and yes, i am enjoying it, but boy was today boring!)
work is overrated to say the least...
but despite my whinginess, and missing my sister's overseas and my mother flying to hawaii for another holiday...
i will take hold of this time of uncertainty to be reminded of what's really important...
my appetite.
i still have my appetite.
thats got to be a good sign!!!!!!
thats all from me peeps.
God bless!
i was meant to go to my 'mandarin' class. no, not to peel oranges, but the national language/ official mother tongue of china. the homeland.
yes, i'm pisstaking.
but no, i'm not joking about the china bit!
i didnt particularly feel like repeating ' this is a pen'... ' this is not my brother'... ' my school bag has 3 books inside'... in chinese.
boo hoo.
whinge whinge...
i think there are too many things going on in my life at the moment for one little minivan to process.
1) the salmeist is thinking of selling the rangies
2) i'm going to africa in just over 4 weeks (to build houses for watoto.com and to visit my sponsor child compassion.org)
3) some of my bestest friends are moving overseas... for at least 12 months
skins, frenchie, asha... in the next few months... and well... i shall focus on the dear friends that will be in the country... however, i cant help but think a piece of me will be left slightly emptier because of their abscence... but thank the Lord for the internet!?! which helps us all keep in touch, but still... i cant help but think the internet for me, is just a poor excuse for communicating sometimes... typing out thoughts just aint the same as a telephone call or a real hug, let alone a 'superpoke' or a 'give a beer to ____' hahahahah.
hmmmm....
anyhoo... so its monday, and i'll whinge that i have over-committed in my chinese class for mondays for the rest of the year...
i just thought it might help me order yum cha in mandarin instead of canto...
oh well!
the flu for me, is almost fully gone... today is the first monday i havent completely wanted to dry wretch at the thought of having to go to work.... (and yes, i am enjoying it, but boy was today boring!)
work is overrated to say the least...
but despite my whinginess, and missing my sister's overseas and my mother flying to hawaii for another holiday...
i will take hold of this time of uncertainty to be reminded of what's really important...
my appetite.
i still have my appetite.
thats got to be a good sign!!!!!!
thats all from me peeps.
God bless!
Friday, August 24, 2007
"Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the orphan. Fight for the rights of widows." Isaiah 1:17
I am so excited!
Compassion International... the organisation that does awesome things... like organizes sponsor programs for children in need... has just announced to me that YES. I can visit my sponsor child! (this is an often arduous process that takes months to prepare and get approval and national security police checks that i have had to pay for... and you should have seen the relief on my face when the letter came back from the federal police that i am not a criminal!! which i knew was the case, but you know... you never know!!!!)
Relief is all around and i am happy once again and the good news (its an exciting proposition, but has been quite stressful...)
for those that are reading my blog or bothering (i havent posted in ages... which is a good and bad sign)..
a) i've been way preoccupied settling into my new job! Go AG!
b) i've been hibernating as a result of the cold and personal blogging at work is not always a good look and my internet connection (free wireless) is currently non- existent at home which is a good and bad thing... so something must be done about it!!
c) i just havent had anything too exhilirating or stupid enough to post!
For those that may read...
my sponsor Child Wanyana Christine lives south of Kampala, Uganda, Africa in a little town called Kipala.
She has just turned 14 years old and i've been sponsoring her since she was 11.
It is a humbling experience to say the least and one that I really value.
When this young girl writes to me and says things like ' Thank you for my birthday sponsor gift, i bought red shoes, school books a dress and a goat for my family'... these sorts of things just blow me away!!!'
a GOAT for goodness sakes!!! its amazing what a humble $50 a month will do in this little person's life.
i wish i could buy a Goat for $50?!
Anyhoo,... i found this quote on Nelson Mandela quite inspiring... we can all make a difference in our corners of the world...
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Compassion International... the organisation that does awesome things... like organizes sponsor programs for children in need... has just announced to me that YES. I can visit my sponsor child! (this is an often arduous process that takes months to prepare and get approval and national security police checks that i have had to pay for... and you should have seen the relief on my face when the letter came back from the federal police that i am not a criminal!! which i knew was the case, but you know... you never know!!!!)
Relief is all around and i am happy once again and the good news (its an exciting proposition, but has been quite stressful...)
for those that are reading my blog or bothering (i havent posted in ages... which is a good and bad sign)..
a) i've been way preoccupied settling into my new job! Go AG!
b) i've been hibernating as a result of the cold and personal blogging at work is not always a good look and my internet connection (free wireless) is currently non- existent at home which is a good and bad thing... so something must be done about it!!
c) i just havent had anything too exhilirating or stupid enough to post!
For those that may read...
my sponsor Child Wanyana Christine lives south of Kampala, Uganda, Africa in a little town called Kipala.
She has just turned 14 years old and i've been sponsoring her since she was 11.
It is a humbling experience to say the least and one that I really value.
When this young girl writes to me and says things like ' Thank you for my birthday sponsor gift, i bought red shoes, school books a dress and a goat for my family'... these sorts of things just blow me away!!!'
a GOAT for goodness sakes!!! its amazing what a humble $50 a month will do in this little person's life.
i wish i could buy a Goat for $50?!
Anyhoo,... i found this quote on Nelson Mandela quite inspiring... we can all make a difference in our corners of the world...
"Like slavery and apartheid, poverty is not natural. It is man-made, and can be overcome and eradicated by the actions of human beings." Nelson Mandela
Which by the way... i want to see the movie...Amazing Grace
Saturday, August 11, 2007
what a momentous occasion!
its been one year since:
- i went to lake falls creek with the tanners
- i've had someone called a 'boyfriend'
- i've completely changed jobs and roles and industries!
- i decided that i love gadgets and my nerdness is fully apparent ( i love electronics)
- last winter... and boy, this winter has been freeeeeeeeakin freeezing!
- i went to berry with jo :D
- i realised i was going to really knuckle down and get fit (for real)
- knowing that being single and happy is one the nicest seasons in ones life... and when one has the opportunity to pursue it... seize it!! cos when you may meet someone special... all this stuff goes (almost) completely out the window...
The greatest test of courage on the earth is to bear defeat without losing heart
what a great quote by Robert Green Ingersoll.
i have no idea who he is... but i got this from my 'jogging diary' for 2007.
what is with buying these things and realising that i really just cant keep up with myself??
i twisted my dear left ankle a couple of months back (not fun)... and well.. that has left me pretty much spewing from the fact that my jogging routine was severely cut short... and now... little ol me is struggling with getting back into the habit!!!
i miss jogging... and i miss feeling like jogging. i must get back into it!!!
i have no idea who he is... but i got this from my 'jogging diary' for 2007.
what is with buying these things and realising that i really just cant keep up with myself??
i twisted my dear left ankle a couple of months back (not fun)... and well.. that has left me pretty much spewing from the fact that my jogging routine was severely cut short... and now... little ol me is struggling with getting back into the habit!!!
i miss jogging... and i miss feeling like jogging. i must get back into it!!!
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