happy leap year by the way :)

decisions decisions.

how does one go about making (potentially) life changing decisions?

do we make decisions without even thinking... that could be potentially life changing? (i.e. taking a different route home on the bus, walking a different way... getting mugged, getting hit by a car... gee this is just a bit of negative vibing!)

ok. so the MV in her attempts at recovering from a tumultuous 2007... is embarking on being a little more careful with her decision making.

oftentimes i have jumped into things without much forethought. i often think 'YES' this is what i want... and before i get a chance to even say.... woah woah woah... im already in the thick of something... i am referring to work/ job committments for one. relationships is a whole nother kettle of fish.

a lot of this has to be about saying 'no' which means 'yes' to something else... and vice versa.

i think the thing that has dawned on me most these days is that well...

its true that you reap what you sow. what you put in is what you get out.

ok. so i'm just rambling.

priority setting. im going to take this offline and go do that now.

lets see if this helps with these offers of work.
swimming teaching. temping in northsydney. looking for full-time work in the Not-for-Profit sector. I really really really would love to work for a NFP project. Preferably with NGO development...

lets seeeeeee....

good curry community. 5 minutes of no rude jokes

just a BIG THANKYEW to Mil, Ryan & Tom for having me round for some great CURRY last nite :)

so much is happening with the commie house dream--- going to become something else soon---

i guess with all things. they have their seasons. i will miss you guys in that house together. it just wont be the same. but alas... its not like you guys are dying or anything! I will see you all soon :D

Lets keep this community thing/ dream alive--- i'm not quite sure how-- but as with all things... comes action with love.

yes. thats nice.

you guys rock my world. really you do.

this is cheesy. but i like the idea of having God in the neighbourhood

He Loves to Be with the Ones He Loves

by Max Lucado

Holiday travel. It isn’t easy. Then why do we do it? Why cram the trunks and endure the airports? You know the answer. We love to be with the ones we love.

The four-year-old running up the sidewalk into the arms of Grandpa.

The cup of coffee with Mom before the rest of the house awakes.

That moment when, for a moment, everyone is quiet as we hold hands around the table and thank God for family and friends and pumpkin pie.

We love to be with the ones we love.

May I remind you? So does God. He loves to be with the ones he loves. How else do you explain what he did? Between him and us there was a distance—a great span. And he couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t stand it. So he did something about it.

Before coming to the earth, “Christ himself was like God in every-thing.… But he gave up his place with God and made himself nothing. He was born to be a man and became like a servant” (Phil. 2:6–7 NCV).

Why? Why did Jesus travel so far?

I was asking myself that question when I spotted the squirrels outside my window. A family of black-tailed squirrels has made its home amid the roots of the tree north of my office. We’ve been neighbors for three years now. They watch me peck the keyboard. I watch them store their nuts and climb the trunk. We’re mutually amused. I could watch them all day. Sometimes I do.

But I’ve never considered becoming one of them. The squirrel world holds no appeal to me. Who wants to sleep next to a hairy rodent with beady eyes? (No comments from you wives who feel you already do.) Give up the Rocky Mountains, bass fishing, weddings, and laughter for a hole in the ground and a diet of dirty nuts? Count me out.

But count Jesus in. What a world he left. Our classiest mansion would be a tree trunk to him. Earth’s finest cuisine would be walnuts on heaven’s table. And the idea of becoming a squirrel with claws and tiny teeth and a furry tail? It’s nothing compared to God becoming a one-celled embryo and entering the womb of Mary.

But he did. The God of the universe kicked against the wall of a womb, was born into the poverty of a peasant, and spent his first night in the feed trough of a cow. “The Word became flesh and lived among us” (John 1:14 NRSV). The God of the universe left the glory of heaven and moved into the neighborhood. Our neighborhood! Who could have imagined he would do such a thing.

Why? He loves to be with the ones he loves.

From Next Door Savior
Available in Hardback or Paperback
Copyright (W Publishing Group, 2003) Max Lucado

family goodbyes. birthdays. welcome home.

i have such a large immediate family. it is difficult to keep track of everyone... let alone myself!
(for those that dont know, i am the youngest of 5 kids, 3 older sisters and my brother is the oldest)

its my sister Kathy's b'day today. I would bake her a cake, but she lives now in Vancouver, Canada... I will call her to wish her a good day methinks.

Michelle & Percy left last nite to return to the land of clogs, windmills and tulips. Holland! I miss them already.

Good news though, my brother Ivan has returned from being in HongKong for a few weeks today.

My bro and i have a HUGE age gap (12 years), but we have always been good friends. We hang out more these days. I hope we can continue this good habit :)

and... my Mum has been home for a week or so. She was away for most of 2007. I missed her too.

My sis Sharon and her husband Matt and my cute nephew Nathan are still in town. I am glad about that. Lots. I enjoy their company.

my family are now one big international fandangle of continents.

i am grieving the loss of a 'base' in Hong Kong (where i was born). but i have friends at Crossroads. So that is good. that makes me feel better :)

in the meantime, its tempting to pack and leave myself--- just to put it out there, im going to probably go to either UK or Northern America in the next few years. Depending on my situation here in Oz. Im going to do this all before i'm 30. Whether it be to study, or to live/work/ travel. That is definately on the cards.

rozelle markets this saturday 1st March

Ok peeps.
ITS FINALLY HAPPENING!

I am going to try my hand at having my own market stall.

Its going to be 2nd hand clothing/ brick/brack i have from this whole purging of stuff...

THIS SATURDAY 1st MARCH at ROZELLE MARKETS (crn of Darling St & Victoria Rd) Rozelle (on the way to Balmain) at the school there.

Will be there all day from 8am til 4pm.

feel free to come along and experience the joy of markets.

if this goes well, i may do a repeat (this is a good motivator to sell stuff and save some money and stuff)

and if i get organised again too-- i may just get some time to sell some stuff i make (eventually) to sell as well... including jewellery etc.

at this point, i will be just selling 2nd hand stuff. oh. im looking fwd to this. :)
(ive been wanting to do it for ages)!

come along!

going digital

one thing i'm doing in preparation of flogging many of my posessions at rozelle markets this saturday (hopefully)- i gotta secure a spot first...

is the whole getting my cd collection on the itunes and subsequently selling the original disc.

im on this decluttering rampage. i love it.

its kinda like a safer version of bullimia for hoarders. (ok, that was a terrible analogy) but i think you know what i mean.

they reckon if you can visualise what youd like to be living like... how the space makes you feel, what it would look like... it healps you let go of the crap. its getting easier.

there are some tough calls on some seriously daggy but trusty jumpers. but you know... there are plenty of others that would appreciate it (or not)... perhaps i shouldnt subject vinnies to my bad taste of wardrobe faux pas.

handmade things.

i love hand made things. in fact. i make some stuff myself... when i make the time...

jewellery.
clothes
random stuff
cards
i knit/crochet on occasion
i can even sew!?
paint

wow. when i list out the tthings that i can make. it makes me feel happy that i can make a concept into a reality.

but aside from that, i stumbled across this website... etsy.com

the link takes you to an article from a girl that questions the essence of consumerism and well.. in a biased way... talks about buying stufff of thier own website. its pretty cool though.

i love handmade things. arts and crafts. YAY!

keep tahoe blue.

hey hey hey. so i'm on a decluttering extravaganza. without going too far, i'll let you know that there is a cleaning sweep happening right this minute (well, not quite, cos i'm blogging)... but while i'm slowly but surely working my way through storage items i havent seen in years... i will be throwing out just 'traces' of memories... but not in a sad, oh, i'm throwing out memories kinda state... but rather, i thought id leave a record of my re-jigged memories here on the www. a virtual memory? thats probably a bit random and too abstract or just a silly play on words.

ok. so i found this:

4130 Manzanita Ave
(room 27)
South Lake Tahoe
CA 96150

(530) 544-6461
(530) 544-8061 (fax)


folks. that was the address i was living at in tahoe! how it is so easy to forget. but so easy to spark a memory.

manzanita ave. where the owners ' rob and barb' were some crazy californian hicks. i sure hope that the address doesnt come up too easily over time in google.

i lived in a motel for 4 months. but i tell you what. they were 4 of the best months of my life! i will never forget it.

that was a long time ago... 2001-2002 winter(northern hemisphere)

for those that dont know-- or didnt know me then. South Lake Tahoe is a little beautiful town on the south east part of Lake Tahoe-- 3 hours West of San Francisco, California (USA).

Its got beautiful Snow mountains surrounding the 2nd largest/deepest? lake in Northern America. Im hoping to go back one day. That would be great.

Oh, and i found a copy of my 'Social Security' card. Oh, thats 'so american!'


gee whiz. the things you find!

i also found an old diary for dec 2003.

things like
monday 15 dec:
"farewell, 8pm, The Oxford (Tranmere)"

tuesday 16 dec:
"Koorong- 3:45pm @ chloes. back by 6"
"Presentation Night, St. Ives @ 7pm"

wednesday 17 dec:
"interview with Kimberlee Chuck" {unbeknownst to me...which was to eventually kickstart my official event management career}

friday 19 dec:
"compassion payment"

saturday 20 dec:
"Kris Kringle family dinner"

.... other stuff like christmas happened... etc

then

monday 29th dec:
10am- brewbakers with Jo. {i remember that brunch too! :)}

Wed 28th Jan 2004:
Kt moves to Melbourne.

and so it goes... weddings, fun runs, scvb work experience

i guess its important to note that these 'flashbacks' bring a sense of wonder to them. well, that was certainly a busy and crazy, interesting time in my life.

now. its 2008.
i wonder what things i will look back on this year?

:D

so many things to look forward to.
decluttering for a start-- to a clear mind.

a new job. a new house perhaps? a new fresh start! and its nearly March!! I'm glad that everyday is a new start :)

shenanigans

i have a licence plate styled thing that is red with white writing.
it says "shenanigans" on it.

i got it made years ago because it was just one of those terms that i kept saying. i think i was 19.

what should i do with it? its behind on my bookshelf.

this is noice. sent from my sis to me.

St. Theresa's Prayer:

May today there be peace within.

May you trust God that you are exactlywhere you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.

May you be content knowing you are a child of God.

Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.

love japanese bbq

its been an eventful day.

not that other days arent eventful, but today...

someone from recruitment agent (gasp!) they actually rang me back. notorious for not returning phonecalls... isnt it funny how the one you least expect actually is the one that bothers.

so... i have a typing test tomo at 12:30 in north sydney! hurrah! it'll be a lame test, one to test my typing, word, excel skills. heck. i'm even looking forward to it!

hey... if they can find me a decent job that wont do my head in. i'll be happy.

so... thats not the end of it... i was priveledged to slot into my sister's spot at the remedial masseuse today at willoughby leisure centre... thats not only the best bit...

low and behold-- i bump into kath (who is a primary school teacher) ... chilling out while her year 2 kids get some swimming lessons.

but there is more!

i was about to head to the swimschool office... because, as some of you may/maynot know...


i was once a swimming instructor back at uni... and well... get this-- they're desperate for teachers... (if only willoughby leisure centre looks THAT good-- thats a pool in mexico!)

after a few phone calls and (i need to re-acredit myself to do another 'Austswim' qualification)... bummer ... which will take about 3 days to do... and a few hundred bucks... but

they'll most likely take me on anyways-- so i have a meeting with them early next week too.

(no stalkers please)... i dont know if i should be posting on the world wide web my whereabouts! (i prefer to be a little more stealth than that)

it gets better.


my family (which is so nice to have around)... my sis/husband/nephew, othersis/partner, mum and i went to a japanese bbq place in neutral bay tonite.
it was all you can eat.

OMG!

awesome.

aside from cute pictures of my 2.5 year old nephew eating a soft serve cone--- i asked my sis to take pictures of me in the same poses, but to my disappointment... i dont quite look as cute as he.... (jokes). i'll post up comparitive pics later.

so. all in all. i'm feeling heaps better. theres nothing quite like people wanting you to work for them that makes the ego boost.

very necessary for someone like me. so... who knows. if you have any kids, send them my way. i'll probably be teaching them how to blow bubbles and freestyle soon enough. and i'm not talking about break dancing either!

ciao xo

a nice quote. yumcha...and...are eyes the window to the soul?

happiness is a healthy mental attitude, a grateful spirit, a clear conscience, and a heart full of love.

• my mum gave me a little book today with lovely quotes. isnt she a darl? oh bless her.

• had yum-cha today with my 2 sisters sharon, michelle & her fiancee percy and mum. i forgot how dramatic a full-car-ride to northsydney could create such havoc! backseat drivers aside...

• ok. on another tangent.

... what do you guys think:

" it needs no dictionary of quotations to remind me that eyes are the windows of the soul" Max Beerbohm.

do you guys think this is true? what does it really mean... to say that 'eyes are the windows to the soul'?

can you really tell what a person is really like through their eyeballs? :P or is this just a lame attempt to question the realities of blindness? see ryans post which in that case... you may think you're seeing into someones soul, until you realise you cant even find your reading glasses? (random!)

or... is this just a creepy rendition of 'playschool' where you look through the 'round window'.... and there are kids skipping and playing outdoors in a 70's video with a voiceover by 'jemima' and 'big ted' start freaking you out.

ok. now i'm scaring myself.

comedy club

it was clearly a boys nite. but in typical van-nee style. i rocked up anyways!

aside from racial slurs, homosexual jokes, political fanaticism, anti-christian bashing and some guy eating an onion (and no, it wasnt that funny).---and that was just the dude selling the drinks! (joke)...
i enjoyed the bad salad, the company of fellow friends, namely tom, ryan, andrew, howie and a dude called john who seemed to be more of a magician (appearing, disappearing and never re-appearing again).

i needed that laugh. i miss laughing so much. it reminds me of happier days when i used to be called 'the machine gun'... because i laughed so much! i like being around people that make me laugh. (yes, that is your purpose in life guys-- to keep van laughing)

vannee is on the mend. and thanks ryan for providing some inspiration on the 'job stakes'-- i could be a bike repairwoman... a miner... a... coke vending machine filler-innera.... and in relation to the potential that i could in fact dare to even think/ consider flatting with 3 boys. i was going to throw a (stinky) in there, but im not sure that you guys are stinky.

thoughts any blog readers? who has been a female and lived with 3 boys and lived to tell their tale?

(i can name a few, mil, jo, jem... you guys reading my blog?)

community. time. rollercoasters.

.... we all (or most) would know what its like to go on a rollercoaster...

well... this is how i've been feeling of late.

i cant quite put my finger on it, but i am glad that the rollercoaster is kinda less bumpy now---
so much of it involves staying connected... and focussed. it is hard. balance.

when you have felt so out of balance for a while... you start to feel a bit lost... which is how i have felt.

things that help me stay grounded...

i went to community dinner last nite at the commie house. it was my first time. familiar and new faces. i missed jo there, but i enjoy the inhabitants of the commie house' company most. their commitment to loving others and random dropper-inneras (like myself) reminds me much like a strong family. their ethos reminds me so much of a beautiful oak tree... they have planted their seed... and to grow it they water it with care, while they nuture and are considerate of each other... amongst life's mysteries , goodness and frustrations... and well... there is nothing quite like community.

having grown up in a very tight knit chinese family. i crave community. connection. love. support. laughter.

i miss it so.

other 'things' that make me most grounded i realise truly. are the quality of my connections and relationships to people closest to me in the world.

we really cant live without people.

and if we are ever in an environment that doesnt seek this general care and committment (cut throat world of advertising- my most recent experience of late)...

i dont work. i dont thrive. i struggle. i shrink.

because i cant be myself.

losing one self is probably the worst of all personal struggles-- borderline sinful too.

you wonder where God is-- you forget who God made you to be... its in there, but you just want to get it out.

when you feel like youve been trampled by the world-- its hard to unscrumple yourself.

you need to re-group. re-focus. trusting that God will restore... drawing on the strength of friends and family. it works.

one thing that i know is.

it takes time.

perhaps a lifetime. because life isnt all roses. but difficulties, just like good times... all have their seasons.

maybe i'm just learning this again.

its important to not let the set-backs be that-- we strive to move forward... for God promises that in Jeremiah 29... that he has great plans for us. not to harm us. plans to give us a hope and a future.

i need to repeat this often and be reminded. its not easy-- but through laughter, fun, and less seriousness... Life can be enjoyed and God has ... as he has promised... to never leave us nor forsake us.

Thank Goodness for God! and Thank Goodness for community.